Ronald Rolheiser. Ch 9 in The holy hanging: The search for a Christian spirituality (NY: Doubleday, 1999). One of the most helpful, beautiful and whole things I have ever read on sexuality. Rolheiser begins with the idea of sexuality as an awareness of being 'cut off' - the root of the word sex is apparently the Latin verb secare ("to cut off", "to sever", "to amputate", "to disconnect from the whole"). "We wake up in our cribs, not serene, but crying - lonely, cut off, severed from the great whole," writes Rolhoiser. Sexuality is the energy or the drive that works incessantly to reconnect us. Genitality - or having sex - is one aspect of this. But it is not the only aspect. In its wholeness, "sexuality is about giving oneself over to community, friendship, family, service, creativity, humor, delight, and martyrdom so that, with God, we can help bring life into the world". Sexuality is sacred, and as such sex "can never be casual, but is either a sacrament or a destructive act".